Homesick

I have been homesick before. When I was only 16 and living in Germany I got incredibly homesick around Thanksgiving and I sucked it up and my time in Germany was wonderful. I have only fantastic memories of that experience. But now I am literally HOMEsick. I miss my HOME. I miss our house with our wonderful concrete floors that keep the house so nice and cool during the 100 degree summers, I miss the bare white walls that we never painted because we couldn't agree (actually Matt likes the white and I hate it but that's another post), I miss the deer eating all of my plants, I miss the absolute quiet on a summer evening only broken up by the sound of crickets and birds. I even miss the rattlesnakes and scorpions that I always end up having to kill if Matt's not around because while Connor is a spider killer he hasn't quite mastered the art of killing a fast moving scorpion and there's no way I am letting them close enough to kill a rattlesnake. Madeline runs screaming like the true drama queen that she is at the mere mention of a creepy crawly.....

I miss having MY stuff around me, having MY stove to cook on, having MY washer and dryer to to laundry in, and having MY bed to sleep in, I miss being able to let the kids go outside and play and not having to worry about who is around because there wasn't anyone around. I miss letting Madeline ride her bike up and down the driveway, I miss hearing Connor play with his cars in his bedroom at night before he fell asleep.

If I had MY house here in AL this experience would be much different. If we had rented a house instead of an apartment maybe this would be better too. I don't know, all I know is while sitting here in this cigarette smelling apartment listening to the neighbors talk while they are out on their patios drinking and smoking, is that I miss California and I miss my HOME.

I was told once that HOME is where all of your stuff is, and I thought I would be fine with just the bare essentials of my HOME. What do you know she was right HOME is where my family and my stuff is, and so I am here in AL only half of a home. Granted the important part of HOME is here, my husband and kids are here, but man I miss my STUFF!